Fumes...

Seems to me this blog is running on fumes (if that). I guess I'm settling into life in the bigdirtycity--ski days and bike rides no longer seem blog-worthy. Thankfully, we have a baby coming in a month (give or take) so I'll be able to keep it going with a few thousand pictures of the little person. I know that's what folks really want anyway.

Until that time comes, a few random thoughts from on my bike ride yesterday. Read them at your own risk. I can't guarantee your entertainment (you get what you pay for).

1. Pregnant ladies can't be trusted--at least not about the weather. They have a core temperature of approximately 187 degrees and will tell you it's warm enough to bike without gloves--even when it's 35 degrees. For the record, that is not warm enough.
2. Homeless guy playing trumpet. I saw one yesterday--he wasn't very good, but at least he was practicing. I had a flashback to fifth grade trumpet lessons--sitting next to CL in Mr. VH's garage on hard steel folding chairs blurting out our rendition of "Oh When the Saints." And then I wondered what life was like for him in fifth grade, pictured his mom signing him up for music lessons, wondered about the dreams she had for him, he had for himself. Just a reminder that the homeless are people. And that they never pictured life turning out that way for themselves either.
3. The creepy guy in the white van. He's been showing up on a daily basis this week, parking on the street--just in view of my office window. I think he lives down the block. I also think he's a drug dealer. I'm basing this on the fact that strange people pull up next to the white van, in their zippy little Civics, he (the driver of the white van) gets in the car with them for about five seconds, something happens (I haven't gotten out the binocs yet), then they both drive away. I'm wondering when this necessitates a call to the cops--I hate to waste their time. Plus, I enjoy watching him--this keeps me entertained at least ten minutes a day.
4. Ethical dilemmas. As every Seinfeld fan knows, we (cyclists, drivers, humankind) are supposed to have a deal with the Critter Kingdom--especially pigeons and squirrels. The deal is: we approach, they move. Well, the pigeons on the bike path haven't been cooperating. One nearly hit me last week. So, I've been trying to help them out--when I get close, I bark like a dog (this works well for squirrels, geese, and deer as well). So here's the dilemma. These particular uncooperative pigeons are under the bridge--right by a homeless guy. I don't want the homeless guy to think I'm barking at him--but I also don't want to get hit in the face by a lazy pigeon. What should I do?

That's about it. Hey, it was a short bike ride.

St. Patty's Day

Our latest (not really that up to date) pics of Jill--these taken on St. Patty's weekend (2 weeks ago?). A friend commented that her belly looks "glorious". The Doc insists she's really not that big. I, of course, agree with both.

In other prego news--one month to go. This week, we took a tour of the hospital where baby will (hopefully) be born . I think it made Jill more, rather than less, nervous. Other than that it was good. (Although it wasn't very nice of them to make all those pregnant ladies ride the freight elevator. They claim it was for convenience, but I don't know...)

Guilty as Charged?

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to think that this blog is amusing, but I do. I haven't read them all, but think you may want to check out #87, 81, 80, 73, 64, 61, 60, 44, etc. etc.

Going Native

It's Friday night. Jill's at work. There's really no good T.V. on (except the Gypsy Kings on PBS--which I'm watching/listening to so pardon my typos. It's really very distracting). I figured I might as well catch up on my blogging--finish that post I started about a year ago (when I first started this blog, actually) and never got around to wrapping up.

The post (started March 6, 2007) was originally prompted by a comment made by someone at church. I was asking him if it's possible to take one's dog along mountain biking on Front Range Trails when he interrupted me. "Wait a minute", he said. "You got a dog and you mountain bike? Wow, it didn't take you long to go native, did it?!"

I'll get into that in a minute. First a note of explanation.

The state of Colorado has one of the fastest growth rates in the nation. In fact, the growth rate of this great state is actually closer to that of a developing nation (or so the folks at NPR tell me). During the next decade, it's estimated that approximately 1,000,000 people will move to the Front Range area. That's a lot of people. No wonder one of the first questions that comes up in any conversation is "Where are you from?"

So not many of us are natives. But those who are take great pride in their status. They even have bumper stickers that proclaim to all the world their superior birth. The rest of us--well, we can only pretend. We do our best--we try to go go native", as my friend said. But some of us do better than others.

So, how am I doing? Here's what I've managed to come up with:

First, here's what I'm missing:

• An "Impeach Bush" bumper sticker/sign on my front lawn (somehow, I don't think this would be popular with a fair portion of my congregation).


• Single digit body fat percentage. (Denver claims to be the thinnest city in the U.S. I'm solidly in the double digits)


• SUV/Subaru Outback/4 Wheel Drive. (Somewhere, I have a picture of my street early on a Sunday morning--each of the 20-30 vehicles parked on my street fell into this category.


• $2,000 a month mortgage payment.


• Buddhist prayer flags and sense of vague, smorgus board "spirituality". We're down right particular in our spirituality, thank you very much.


• Leathery, Colorado Mountain tan. Still as pasty as ever.


• Large camper/trailer to be used every weekend between Memorial Day and Labor Day.

Wow. That's a lot of strikes against me. Come to think of it, the only thing I really have going for me is the previously mentioned dog/mountain bike, my willingness to wear spandex in public places, and my smug attitude about my new lightbulbs/compost bin. Not very impressive at all. I guess I'll have to settle for this bumper sticker f0r now:

PS: If any Coloradians can think of something I'm missing, let me know!

For Cat Lovers

A video for your viewing pleasure since I've got nothing to say today (except that the snow in Keystone yesterday was phenomenal. If this pastor thing doesn't work out, I'm going to be a ski bum. You heard it here first.)
PS: No--I don’t spend my free time looking through YouTube. It’s not so much that I find them as they find me.

Best. Monday. Ever.

Okay, maybe not the best Monday ever. But top five. Or top ten. I've had some really good Mondays.*

Here are some highlights:

• The French: My parents came out for a quick visit this weekend. We decided to send them off in style with breakfast at a local bakery: Trompeau. Real French folks serving real French pastries. Oiu oiu! I don't care if it's unpatriotic (or unmanly). I love their ham & swiss croissants. The pear/chocolate are also good.

• Hot Deals: We had to go to Runner's Roost to exchange some things for Jill. We were delighted to find a 40% of sale and--best of all--shoes in my size. Apparently, my size is now 14D. I never knew that. They are really, really white--but I'll work on that.

• Smart Barbers: I got my hair cut yesterday. My hairdresser theorized that I spend a lot of time outside. Her reasons? My wild, bushy eyebrows. Apparently, she thinks there's a connection. No longer are they a mark of shame. Now they're a badge of honor declaring to the world that, despite my soft pastor's hands, I am indeed a rugged outdoorsman. Who wouldn't want that?

• Celebrity Sightings: I think I spotted Josh Blue on my bike ride. He was standing shuffling along the Cherry Creek bike trail. Of course, I can't be certain. It may have been a homeless guy who bore a striking resemblance. Do you think Josh Blue spends a lot of time outdoors?


• High Calories: Jill and I finally got her birthday date in. Cheesecake factory! Tiramisu cheesecake is, in fact, very delicious.

• High Culture: We want to Plainsong last night at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts. I love legitimate theatre. And it's not just because the theatre crowd makes me feel tough. Great story. Great actors. Great night!



• The Tax Man: We had our taxes done yesterday. In reality, this didn't start out so great. Our accountant--who seemed blissfully incompotent from the start--looked at us at the end of our hour and said, "Uhm, sorry to have to tell you this--but you owe another $2,500. I guess we goofed last year when we estimated your payments." This was not a highlight in our day. In fact it was something of a low point (Despite the fact that it gave me a good sermon illustration for Sunday's message on Matt. 6:24-34). But things got better--both for the reasons mentioned above and because of the phone call we got twelve hours after our appointment. Turns out the tax man goofed. We're getting a refund! Or we think we are. We're trying not to get too overly optomistic in the (likely?) event that he goofed again.

Wow--seven things. It seems biblical to stop there!

*I know people are supposed to hate Mondays. But as they are my day off, I really, really like them.

Adventures with Daisy

It was a beautiful day in Denver last Sunday (55+ degrees) so Jill and I decided to go to the mountains and find snow. Something about wanting to feel like we're still in the midwest, I guess.

Anyway...we took Daisy along. She's been gaining some sympathy weight with Jill and it was time to get her some exercise. She loves running around in the snow, and at times reminded me of those cartoons where Bugs Bunny is tearing around under ground and you can only see a trail of dirt popping up on top of him. It was like that--but with snow. In this little clip, she actually gets stuck in a rather deep drift. And then I do. I thought snow shoes were supposed to float on top of the snow?!

No animals were harmed in the making of this film.